Okay, this falls under the category of things that make me go, “huh????”

I just saw an ad for a little plastic contraption that, get this, helps you crack eggs.  That’s right, folks.  It’s no longer necessary to tap our eggs against the side of a bowl or pan or on the counter top.  With this handy-dandy little device, you can crack an egg in half with only a four step process …

1. put the egg in the contraption;
2. squeeze the contraption to crack the egg;
3. remove the shells from both sides of the contraption;
4. wash the thing to get the egg off it.

Gee, how easy (as compared to the two steps it takes me right now to crack an egg).  Oh, and if it’s too tedious for you to seperate the yolk from the white the old fashioned way, it has a little adapter you place under the egg that the yolk drops into while the white falls away around it to the waiting bowl below.  Great, one more thing to wash.

But wait, there’s more!  If you order this little device right now you get …. wait for it, wait for it … the egg scrambler!  That’s right, you just place your egg on this little stick-like device, press the button and voila!  You’ve now scrambled the egg INSIDE THE SHELL.  Now all you need to do is take the egg, stick it inside the egg cracking device (steps 1, 2, 3, & 4) and you’ve got a scrambled egg!

People, please.  I really wish I had the statistics to see exactly how many people will order this $10 Wonder of the Modern World.  So, I did a search online for this particular product and, lo and behold, I found at least three other egg crackers and another in-the-shell egg scrambler.  Really?  How lazy are we that we can’t crack or scramble an egg without the help of some little plastic gadget?  This falls right in line with some of the other “amazing” products we’ve seen on infomercials the last few years.  Let’s review.

1. The Meatball Magic.  If you didn’t see this one, feel lucky.  Grab a big hunk of ground beef, smoosh and cut it into a square, press the plastic mold down over it and there are your meatballs.  And a bunch of leftover ground beef.  And a greasy mess to clean off your cutting board.
2. The Ab Energizer, Abtronic or any related “shock your ab muscles into shape” product.  Seriously.  You would rather run electrodes across your stomach than do a sit-up?
3. The Flowbee.  Attach this little wonder to your vacuum cleaner and give yourself (direct quote from their website) “the most popular haircut styles.”  Most popular where?  Sadly, I had a friend from high school that actually used one of these.  But, in his defense, his hair always looked like a frayed Brillo pad anyway.  Sorry, Dan.
4. The Great Looking Hair system.  I know this came under other names but this was the only one I could remember.  Basically, spray paint for your head.  Spray it on in a color that matches your existing hair (what’s left of it) and look like you have a full head of hair.  Until it rains, anyway.
5. Head-On.  “Apply directly to the forehead.”  ‘Nuf said.
6. Pasta Express.  Yep, just put the pasta in the container, add boiling water, wait a few minutes, strain the water from the container and enjoy.  Instead of just adding the pasta to the water you already had to boil to use the silly thing.

There are soooo many more, but these are just the ones off the top of my head.  If you have any other fun ones, let me know.  I think I’ll go to my craft table now and invent a blanket with arms that looks like I put my robe on backwards.